I'm positive someone, somewhere is excited that I have a blog

Were you ever worried that you weren't going to know enough about the mundane details of my daily life? Worry no more, because I am about to solve all of your problems.  You're Welcome.

Nine Things that Caused Me to Believe I Have Enough Free Time to Blog

(because 10 would have been predictable...also, I ran out of ideas)

1.) I am caught up on Dexter and don't think I have the energy or passion to devote myself to a new television series (Lost seems like it could ruin my life).

2.) I have started referring to my dog as a "little gentleman" and to myself as "Mommy"

3.) I spent an entire month looking at online photos of Robert Pattinson from Twilight.  I also sorta, kinda, found the time to read the entire book series in one week.  In my defense, I was going through a terrible breakup at the time and my judgement was.....okay fine...no excuses...I loved it.  Feel free to judge. 

4.) I read Us Weekly...weekly.

5.) All of my close friends are married, engaged, almost engaged, or having babies....and I, may or may not, have a minor panic when I think there is a possibility that I will have to talk to a child.  I was at a dog park recently where a lad of about seven or so struck up a conversation with me about my three-legged dog.  He asked where Tyson was from, to which I responded "New York."  He replied (with a hint of annoyance, I may add), " the city or the state?" Because I never speak to children, I immediately assumed this was some kind of child genius. I was just about to speak with his mother about finding him an agent in order to get him on some talk shows (because what else would you do with a smart child?) when someone reminded me that most seven-year olds can read and his question was based upon fairly average logic.  I feigned understanding, but spent the next 10 minutes trying to decide what random historical knowledge I should have the child start memorizing for his visit to the Today show. 

6.) I clap and yell out loud at episodes of So You Think You Can Dance.  I even started crying once when the judges were forced to choose between two tap-dancing brothers.  They kicked off the bald one who was blatantly better. I can tell because I did some pretty intense choreography my Junior year of high school in our production of Guys and Dolls. 

7.) I recently bought something at Wet Seal.  The eighth-grader that rang me up gave me a look that just said, "Really?"

8.) Ever since I have moved back from New York, I have started most of my stories with, "Once when I was living in New York..." So obnoxious, but it's like a terrible, terrible disease that I can't defeat...

9.) I have said the words "I think Zac Efron is sexy" more than ten times. 

Stay tuned for my next installment, "Eight Reasons You Should Give a Shit that I Have a Blog"